almost home

Today is the day.  I drive to meet my ex to get the kids...they have spent the summer there...it has been since June 30 since I have seen my kids.

This summer was so very different from other summers.  Perhaps last summer was a precursor to this summer.  I have always told my kids that other than an occasional text, I wasn't going to intrude on their time with their dad.  I see my kids more and I respect the time their father has with them..but this summer was different.  Other than a text asking me a question that couldn't be answered by their dad, I heard nothing from either of my children.  I sent the random, hi, hope you have a good day text but the usual reply was "K" or "ok" or "thanks". 

So today I am filled with mixed emotions.  I am excited to see my kids but I also have this weird and strange anxiety.  They usually return to me somewhat crabby.  I am sure it is because they will miss their dad and being with me means school and responsibility.  But my heart asks this:  Do they ever miss me?  Do they ever feel sad or lonely for me? 

I will never know.  But today I must tell myself I will be happy because my two kids will be coming home with me.  They will be sleeping under the same roof as me.  And for that, I must be thankful.