unknown

does anyone ever fear the unknown? big, real issues unknown, and also the little things we just don't know? I am having surgery in less than two weeks and the big picture is pretty much unknown. Yes, I fear death. who really knows what happens when we die? but I suppose without it looming over my head, I don't think about it as often. this surgery, however, is definitely looming over my head. and it scares me to not know.. to not know what they are going to tell me afterward. if I was having say, knee surgery, then I would know before what was wrong with my knee and the intended outcome. this, however, is just.. there is something there that shouldn't be.. and we need to take care of it.

bottom line, I am very anxious. and hope I can sleep until this is over. and once I wake up in recovery, I am hoping my worry was for nothing too big.