Um. Where did I go?

School has begun and this year is so strange to me... it's the first time since my 21 year old first started preschool that I don't have anybody in school. Work is different. My route that I had for 6 years was bid by someone senior to me. My new route is good just different. I really don't see anyone in the morning that I've spent any time talking to....there is stuff going on with my bonus kids but I'm feeling left out.  My husband shares but I'm usually the last to know and since I'm stepmom, I don't have any input.... which is usual for step moms.  And step dads. I'm just feeling weird about things as I always included my husband.... he never hesitated to offer his opinion. I'm feeling as though I shouldn't offer my thoughts because as he said himself yesterday, 'what happened with your kids isn't going to be what happens with my kids'. (something pretty close to that) There are often times when times repeat themselves..   a situation that happened with my oldest, a boy, that is now happening with the youngest, my bonus son, and its addressed so different.

I am feeling that since both of my kids have graduated & moved out to live with their dad, that I'm less of a parent. My son hasn't talked to me in years. My daughter & I talk regularly but any day to day is gone. I'm not the first go to person for anyone. I often feel lonely.... step parent life is hard work. I don't discount all my husband has done over the years for my kids but I just feel different.