If someone makes you laugh, spend time time them.
If someone makes your heart beat a little faster, you let them.
Do what makes you happy every time.
Haven't you been punished enough? Why punish yourself more? Is it so important to obey the "invisible rules" of loss?
Your life after loss is nobody's business but yours.
And for those who have kids with opinions about beginning again... listen carefully.
Kids should have no say in who you kiss, who you sleep with and who you talk to. I understand that might sound harsh. I get it.
But they could never walk in your shoes because they don't fit them.
Hold your kids. Love your kids. But don't ask their permission.
One day, when they get older and have the same shoes you have on, they will get you. And more than respect your courage.
Now go out and do what makes you happy.
PS. Anyone who is stopping your life from coming back, should not be in it.
I was in a very sad and painful place a few years back. I recently thought about that time and how I had changed as a person over the previous decade before then. I had lost myself, my sense of worth, love of myself, who I truly was, ... I lost that person and often wondered if life just didn't move on and if she was gone, she was just gone. For many years, I had resigned myself to the fact that that marriage had changed me and there was no turning back. It was my life story. I am not certain what triggered it but I knew I had to find ME again. I learned that if I wasn't happy, then I couldn't make anyone else happy.
We never know what tomorrow might bring. I've seen that life can be taken from us quietly and quickly, with no notice. So, I say, love bravely. Laugh loudly. Smile often. Give those dear to you hugs.... Don't let a day pass without letting someone know what they mean to you. Maybe it's not always "appropriate" but if it were you leaving this world for another one, wouldn't you want to know you made a difference in someone's life? Made someone smile? Made someone's heart beat a little faster? It's always the little things that mean so very much.
I say, do what makes you happy!