Saturday, July 03, 2010

whirlwind

Dear Internet,
Sometimes you want to vent but you don't want to vent to those you love. Sometimes you want to talk about something but you don't want to because you know it may make someone you love unhappy. I really don't want to vent or talk about something that will make someone unhappy..it is just been an emotional week. I saw my kids for the first time after nine days. I think it was easier to leave them the first time knowing I would see them in just over a week. This time, however, when our goodbyes were said, I knew it would be over three weeks. Three weeks is a very long time for a Mom whose entire life has always revolved around her kids! I know the decisions I have made have been the right ones..all around, every one right ones...but it never makes it easier. My son seems better with everything than my daughter..is it his age? What is it that makes it seems less stressful for him? I may never know. Toss in other emotional things with other kids over the weekend...at times, it breaks my heart. It truly breaks my heart.

At the end of each and every day, I can honestly tell myself that the choices I have made have been the right ones. They have been the right decisions for both me and my children. In the end, I only answer to myself and God. I don't feel remorse or guilt of any sort. I am in a better place! I feel more like my authentic self than I have in so very long.

I leave you with this:

Believe in yourself. You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. You must do that which you think you cannot do.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt


Sincerely,
that girl

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear that girl,

Vent when you need to vent. Talk when you need to talk. The ones who love will will understand and be there with a shoulder to cry on when needed. I am sure you have been told before that each day will get better. And as hard as that may seem to believe, trust me, they will. You will be a stronger person in the future for all the pain that you are feeling now and all the tears that you are shedding now. In the meantime, smile and be proud of who you are and what you have accomplished. Everybody else is. They may just not have told you lately.
Sincerely,
The internet.

p.s. I would have wrote this with a sharpie, but I couldn't find mine.

that girl said...

dear anonymous..
thanks very much for your kind words.

and I hope you find your sharpie soon.

love,
that girl

iteach7 said...

This is soooo funny!!!! (not your post...what I'm gonna say...) Just yesterday, I was at a get together and the person who lives at the house was looking for a Sharpie and couldn't find it. The comment made was "Why is it that you own 20 Sharpies, but can never find one when you need it?" It must be universal!!!!

I totally agree...those that love you will know that you are just venting and getting the weight off your chest before it does serious damage. Remember that I am always here to listen to you....even when I'm not in civilization as we know it. You know what I mean!

Happy Day, Friend!!!!!!!

that girl said...

thanks, iteach7. you really are the best!