Sunday, December 20, 2009

be okay

this year, the holidays are going to be different. I won't be with my kids. we have open conversations often in our house and they know the whys and whens. but to NOT be here on Christmas morning? one thing that will make it easier is that they are a bit older..the wonderment isn't as big as it is when they were much younger. I have not been home, my parents home, to be with MY family since..well..since my youngest was, well, much younger. I am trying to tell myself it will be a relaxing holiday...when I won't have to be concerned with anybody elses needs...only my own needs. I have also made many plans to keep myself busy so there isn't time to be sad.
yeah, that is what I keep telling myself.