Thursday, April 30, 2009

Scranton Newsletter - Vol. 11 #4

DWIGHT SPEAKS!
by Dwight Schrute

This office is a place to sell reasonably priced office supplies, not a place for you to shill out coupon books, soccer candy bars or baked goods to support your kids' extracurricular activities. Do I sell the cornhusk dolls Mose makes at the office? No I do not. I respect that this company's sole purpose is to sell paper. I see the usage of company pens to fill out Girl Scout cookie order forms. The company time you take to vend various overpriced crap to your uninterested co-workers (who gives a damn if your kid's debate team goes to DC?) should be spent selling Dunder Mifflin products to clients. This exploitation has to stop. For the last few weeks I have been calculating all of the supplies, space and hours spent on our company's dime. I'll be sending out invoices to the various organizations you've been panhandling for. The Scranton High School Band already owes us $13.45. The Scranton Cat Rescue owes $7.33. I'll have the Lil' Taylor Girls Softball Team total by the end of the day. I will alert accounting that they should be expecting payments soon.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

what are you trying to tell me??

mom