Sunday, February 22, 2009

millionaire lifeline trouble

NEW YORK - Idaho resident Kathy brought humiliation to her friends and family Tuesday when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the popular TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.' It seems that Kathy, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question, and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing 'the absolute worst use of lifelines ever.'

After being introduced to the show's host Meredith Vieira, Kathy assured her that she was ready to play, whereupon she was posed with an extremely easy $100 question.

The question was: 'Which of the following is the largest?'
A) A Peanut
B) An Elephant
C) The Moon
D) Hey, who you calling large?

Immediately Kathy was struck with an all consuming panic as she realized that this was a question to which she did not readily know the answer. 'Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie,' said Kathy, as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief and disgust. 'I mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of these things before, but I have no idea how large they would be.' Kathy made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50.

Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was bigger, an elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly easy question, Kathy still remained unsure. 'Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!' exclaimed Kathy. 'Darn. I think I better phone a friend.' Using the second of her two lifelines on the first question, Kathy asked to be connected with her friend Betsy, who is an office assistant. 'Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!' she said, wasting the first seven seconds of her call. 'Ok, I got an important question. Which of the following is the largest? B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds hun.'

Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon. Kathy proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds. 'Come on Betsy, are you sure?' said Kathy. 'How sure are you? Duh, that can't be it.'

To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Kathy declined to take her friend's advice and pick 'The Moon.' 'I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all that bright. So I think I'd like to ask the audience,' said Kathy. Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor of answer C, 'The Moon.' Having used up all her lifelines, Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life. 'Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking,' said the too-stupid-to-live Kathy.. 'But you know, sometimes you just got to go with your gut. So, let's see.... For which is larger, an elephant or the moon, I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer.' Kathy sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath, and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact, C, 'The Moon.'


Mom of Three said...


Anonymous said...

Phew... I was seriously beginning to worry about the state of competitive television :)

Sherri said...

Was this for real??

Jake said...

No, it's not real. You can go to the link two comments up. Also, go here to see the actual girl

that girl said...

wow you guys are a tough crowd. posting something I knew wasn't true got quite the comments, eh?

iteach7 said...

I think you did that on purpose to get comments. Good thinking! Ha ha ha

Steph said...

Oh my and i thought I was dumb