lost loves

you know how it is when you find something you forgot you had and then you miss it again once you find it? for those of you who know who this is, he was very important to me at one time in my life. a long time ago, but none the less, important. he was my first really serious boyfriend. we even used the "L" word, Mom! we used to joke about when we got married, we would live in a house so big it would have a map just inside the doorway, saying "you are here" with a red dot next to it. (you know, like on mall or museum maps?)

he was very important to me but also a very sad part of my life. he had some troubles and always called me for help. I can remember him calling my house, asking for a ride because he was too drunk to drive himself. and I also can remember my Dad leaving the house to pick him up and take him home. (I think this happened more than once, too.) I wish sometimes I could go back and help him more on his path of life.

life takes all of us on winding and different paths than sometimes we think we should be on. my love from long ago is no longer with us. he died in 2005 at the age of 37. he did not take very good care of himself ~ he also had existing medical conditions that required daily attention.

I found an old letter from him, too, when I found the photo. it is at times like this I am very glad to be some sort of pack rat.

thanks for the love and memories, Nate the primate.

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